would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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