She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
