first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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