it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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