so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
