I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
