i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dicks are not precious.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
