u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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