just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
