I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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