the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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