how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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