I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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