So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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