Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
