their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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