it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize