he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
