Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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