very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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