If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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