Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
