You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
