Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
