it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
