Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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