i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
