i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
