Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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