So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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