a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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