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me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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