my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
