there was a trapeze. enough said
We need to rekindle our bromance
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
