Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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