Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
