Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
