Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
