I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
