Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
