She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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