Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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