and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize