he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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