literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
