apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
