You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
