we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So vagazzling was a success
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
