4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize