Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
