It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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