She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
