We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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