And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
