You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
