so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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