biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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