i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bring me that man meat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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