I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
