Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
