He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize